That picture of Steve sucks. Why not put a picture of me up? I am much more photogenic. Also, I didn't bleach my hair; also, I'm not gay. Chuck Seattle, WA America - Sunday, December 19, 2004 at 07:48:23 (EST) Carey is exactly the way I'd spell Cary, too. Moroney Belgique, c'est chic - Wednesday, November 24, 2004 at 13:18:03 (EST) Tireless is exactly the word i'd use for Carey. He never tired. He never slept, unless you can't dipsomaniac unconsciousness as sleeping. Let me tell you what's great about Brussels, Rumsfeld sometimes comes here. And when he does he threatens to leave and take the whole of NATO fucking with him. I wish I could do that kind of thing when i got bored at parties. Moroney Brussels, America - Wednesday, November 24, 2004 at 13:15:06 (EST) Chris Cary was the heart and soul of SPR. Long live CC. Oh, he's not dead? Never mind. some guy <I_Love_Chris_Cary@hotmail.com> America - Thursday, November 18, 2004 at 11:10:07 (EST) Look, Rummy's telling all you demanding little weenies to shut the hell up. Barber <barberfurniture> America - Saturday, November 13, 2004 at 12:12:26 (EST) Oi! This page hasn't changed in months! Are you not making skits anymore? If any of ya'll end up in Beantown, email me and shtuff. Adios Beth <e_mcsweeney@hotmail.com> Boston, MA America - Tuesday, November 09, 2004 at 14:08:42 (EST) For the love of God! Update the site! Or post in the guest book. Do something! Chuck <handsofGod@roboxfilms.com> Stanford, CA America - Tuesday, November 09, 2004 at 04:06:23 (EST) This site is wonderful. Where have you guys been all my life? Jorge Runsky America - Thursday, October 28, 2004 at 11:20:44 (EDT) Are you happy now, Ritik? You've been complaining for months about the pharamaceutical industry's incessant spamming of our guestbook. Let's see if they can get past Rumsfeld. Sam Park Brooklyn, NY America - Thursday, August 12, 2004 at 17:00:45 (EDT) hey, have you guys done anything lately? Do you still exist? What's the word? Chuck Southlake Tahoe, CA America - Monday, August 09, 2004 at 20:12:45 (EDT) this site is still up? interesting... certainly begs the question: WHY? Decency USA - Wednesday, August 04, 2004 at 13:05:28 (EDT) FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PEOPLE WHY ARE WE LETTING THE INTERNET HATE US???!!! SAM PARK America - Wednesday, July 21, 2004 at 18:10:27 (EDT) Hey! Anyone seen Andy?! I'm trying to get in touch with the bastard. He needs to email me, as me and him and our pal Bob need a serious re-union. Anyhoo. "Letters" is wicked friggin' awesome. It says so much, and in such a poetically sad and funny way. We should all hang out some time. Noho isn't that far from NYC. Beth <emcsween@smith.edu> Northampton, MA America - Thursday, July 01, 2004 at 01:51:49 (EDT) But at least Chuck cares, even if no one else does... Rogerio Do Loccia America - Tuesday, June 01, 2004 at 18:10:42 (EDT) Hey Matty, were you a Spanish major? HA HA! ZING! Chuck Stanford, CA America - Friday, May 28, 2004 at 16:38:57 (EDT) Nicely made website - keep up your good work! Harry <no@email.available> America - Monday, May 17, 2004 at 18:53:02 (EDT) Letters: funny, yet sad. I cried and laughed. Not at the same time though, that would be impossible. Chuck Stanford, CA America - Sunday, May 16, 2004 at 15:20:18 (EDT) Sam - You do a great job. Underappreciated, but great. Yours, John John Wayland I'm coming back to the goddamned city, - Wednesday, May 12, 2004 at 17:41:03 (EDT) Videos are coming soon. Not that anyone but Chuck cares. Sam Park Angkor, Cambodia - Wednesday, May 12, 2004 at 11:14:06 (EDT) Yo, friends, I know you just did a show. That must mean that you have videos on the way. Is that true? It must be. Where are the videos. Love, Videos Chuck Stanford, CA America - Tuesday, May 11, 2004 at 17:54:49 (EDT) Where are you guys going out drinking after your shows? (Are you going out drinking after your shows? Or have you become too old?) Inquiring minds want to know... Hoppy C. Atlantic City, NJ - Wednesday, May 05, 2004 at 10:26:43 (EDT) HOOO-AAHH! get it? Like Pacino in Scent of a Woman? Woo-Aaah? Like, his catchphrase. Jeez, I hope I didn't mess up the delivery Drew <datkins7700@yahoo.com> America - Sunday, May 02, 2004 at 19:03:46 (EDT) Please (gasp) Shut Down (gasp) This Website !!! (dies) what integrity this site once had America - Tuesday, April 27, 2004 at 19:17:01 (EDT) Hi, Great site you have here Weight Loss Diet Pills Diet Pills <none@e--diet-pills-direct.com> United States - Sunday, April 25, 2004 at 06:05:02 (EDT) I think that you guys should do a segment with those girls from Sister Sister. Perhaps some soft-core porn similar to The Red Shoe Diaries, but without David Duchovney. WB Fan <thefrog@wb.com> America - Thursday, April 22, 2004 at 16:27:34 (EDT) Killa Chris is ganksta...Foshiggadale Jeramiah <krustychitlins@blackandmild.com> USA - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 15:49:46 (EDT) There once was this kid from Rhode Island, Whom folks asked, Hey why's that kid smilin? It's cause he wrote limericks so well, Skewering all but himself, Til the last one, Which he wrote so no one, Could say he was unfair, When concocting a pair, And try to get him back with their rhymin; see how i am so accomplished now that i am playing with the form? really, the last one, i've got work to do, America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 15:10:48 (EDT) There are these five guys who live in Brooklyn, Who are just so damned good-lookin', They can always give it or get it for free, But they'd rather make some money, Which is often why you'll find them hookin' last one Corner of Court and 9th, after 1 am, Brooklyn New York - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 15:01:49 (EDT) There once was a guy from Nantucket, About whom limericks can be drawn by the bucket, But he's really from Westchester, Which rhymes with molester, See what I mean? No? Well, then fuck it. I'm on a roll... - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:59:55 (EDT) In a small town called Enumclaw, There was a guy who liked to put cock's in his maw, Until one day he was having fun, With a cock of such dimension, That he fucking all fucked up his jaw. This one is because Matty's not really from Seattle So it is a little more accurate, America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:56:23 (EDT) There once was a bloke from Seattle, Who played with his cock like a rattle, Until one day it broke off, Which he asked no one to speak of, Until now, I'm sorry, I've tattled. I'm so freakin' good at this! Not getting any work done, America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:53:23 (EDT) This one's about two brothers from Kingman, Who referred to their cocks as two lingams, Til once on a flight, They realized their cocks were quite light, Now they simply call their cocks "Wingmen." this one makes less sense but is still good, and incorporates themes from Hindu mythology and maybe sort of top gun - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:51:38 (EDT) There is one fellow in Brussels, Who often ends up in these tussles, About whose balls are bigger, But no one can figure, Cause his balls look like un pomme fritte and two mussels. This one is culturally relevant about people in Europe, America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:48:32 (EDT) There once was a young man from near Stockton, Who on things he loved to put his cock on, Until when one day in the cold, He got it stuck on a pole, And now he never leaves without a sock on. Made this one up, too. On the Spot, America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:45:25 (EDT) I made that last one up all by myself and I am quite proud of myself... A Man Jeff City, MO America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:42:07 (EDT) There once was a girl from Jeff City, Who thought that her bum was so pretty, She said it's like art when I move, But now her bum's in the Louvre, Which for those in Jeff City's a pity. A Man Jeff City, MO America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 14:41:44 (EDT) There once was a man from Iraq, With holes down the length of his cock. When he got an erection, He's play a selection, by Johan Sebastian Bach. John Wayland Nantucket, CA America - Wednesday, April 21, 2004 at 00:38:19 (EDT) There once was a lady named Lucky, Who used dynamite to give herself fucky. They found her vagina, in North Carolina, And one of her tits in Kentucky A Man Nantucket, MA America - Tuesday, April 20, 2004 at 20:56:00 (EDT) There once was a man from Racine who'd invented a fucking machine. Concave or convex, it fit either sex, but boy, was it a bitch to keep clean. A Man Nantucket, America - Tuesday, April 20, 2004 at 20:55:27 (EDT) Do you people not understand that this bulletin board spamming is not only ruining this website, but actually, the ENTIRE WEB?! That's right! The purpose of these spams is to muck-up Google's algorithms, giving www.phentermineovernight.com an inside track on the #1 ranked site returned on Google, when, in deed, perhaps it should be www.discount-phentermine-rx.com! THIS IS ANARCHY! Sam Park America - Thursday, April 15, 2004 at 11:39:46 (EDT) Hi everybody! pls visit my site Painting Painting <rosto.com> los angeles, ca usa - Tuesday, April 13, 2004 at 19:56:27 (EDT) This website degenerates! This website degenerates! Sam Park <sampark@ovalshow.com> America - Tuesday, April 13, 2004 at 16:32:31 (EDT) nice, really! Anime <nomail@here.by.me> America - Saturday, April 10, 2004 at 22:29:24 (EDT) Great site! Payday Loan Payday Loans <info@payday-express-.com> United States - Friday, April 09, 2004 at 09:43:46 (EDT) Why do everybody spam guestbooks? Fight spam!! why why why - Wednesday, April 07, 2004 at 08:07:00 (EDT) Hi, great site! Phentermine Phentermine <main@-phentermineovernight.com> United States - Saturday, April 03, 2004 at 18:52:58 (EST) levitra ED-Drug Cialis ED-Drug levitra <dksjfdsk@jfdjkf.com> America - Monday, March 29, 2004 at 03:04:39 (EST) I just had to give my compliments. Great site! Phentermine Phentermine <main@-discount-phentermine-rx.com> United States - Saturday, March 27, 2004 at 22:51:47 (EST) For the love of America, please... sam park <sampark@ovalshow.com> Jefferson City, MO USA - Tuesday, March 23, 2004 at 21:16:51 (EST) This site is very interesting and informativ, thanx and go on like this. online casting <schloofi@lycos.de> Berlin, Berlin Germany - Tuesday, March 23, 2004 at 06:57:24 (EST) Nobody go in ther for about 30....45 minutes. Poo Monger <logjammin@poomonger.com> Brooklyn, NY America - Tuesday, March 02, 2004 at 16:04:41 (EST) Well, the whole "marriage" plan went to crap and now i'm stuck in Northampton with a crap job. If anyone can get me outta here and get me a decent job, I'd be forever in your debt. OR, just make some more funny videos that involve Australian men dying in various ways... that's be nice too. This whole pharmaceutical posting thing is WAY outta control! We should hack into their sites and do nasty things to them! Okay, I'm going now. Andy, find me online sometime. Beth <emcsween@smith.edu> America - Sunday, February 29, 2004 at 16:44:22 (EST) yo! cialis, levitra, cheap foiricet, viagra! settle the fuck down! we heard you already! sheesh! macho man America - Wednesday, February 25, 2004 at 20:07:33 (EST) Thanks.. Take care Levitra - USA. Levitra <levitra_12345@hotmail.com> Seattle, WA America - Saturday, February 21, 2004 at 06:52:16 (EST) Hi from Levitra levitra <levitra@usa.com> YVR, BC Canada - Saturday, February 21, 2004 at 06:50:46 (EST) Greetings! Cialis - LA. Cialis <cialis@eu.com> LA, CA America - Saturday, February 21, 2004 at 06:49:45 (EST) Chuck - What's going on man! Remember me, Steve?! What are you up to these days, man?! Have you graduated from college yet? Or are you doing that this year? Dude, don't leave, college is the best time you'll ever have, unless you become a paralegal. Me, I'm going to try to get a job writing in Hollywood. The guys from New York think it's a good fucking idea, and so do the guys from the Chappie. But I'm not really sure what I'm up to these days, or what you are up to, and I'd love to know... I hope you are having as much of a blast as I am senior year. I hope you are... Steve Yelderman Slocum County, AL USA - Thursday, February 12, 2004 at 11:31:21 (EST) Seriously, update the fucking website, guys. Bob Holdem, Guvehnah of Missour-ah Bob Holdem Jefferson City, MO USA - Thursday, February 12, 2004 at 11:28:19 (EST) Clearly I meant funny. Chuck America - Thursday, February 12, 2004 at 07:04:51 (EST) Hey guys, what happened? Do you still exist? I miss my funy. Chuck <youknow@stanford.edu> America - Thursday, February 12, 2004 at 07:04:18 (EST) All i can say is... funny! levitra <somewhereovertherainbow1954@yahoo.com> LA, CA America - Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 22:03:09 (EST) all i can say is... funny levitra <somewhereovertherainbow1954@yahoo.com> LA, CA America - Sunday, February 01, 2004 at 22:00:05 (EST) Ortico Melbourne Documentary: http://ortico.home.insightbb.com/documentary.wmv Penguin Invasion - Episode one: http://ortico.home.insightbb.com/inv1_low.wmv Penguin Invasion - Episode two: http://melbourne.home.insightbb.com/inv2_low.wmv Please link to these skits if you want. Matthew Ortico <ortico@insightbb.com> Rockford, IL America - Thursday, January 29, 2004 at 09:21:00 (EST) Hi. Just wanted to compliment your site. I've enjoyed it. Phentermine America - Tuesday, January 27, 2004 at 12:42:37 (EST) Goddamn right you did, Dax. We've got ourselves a regular Bobby DeNiro on our hands. Where have you been all these years, anyway? Wasting away your youth when you could have hit it big with us. The Dream can still be yours, Dax, but only if you want it badly enough. Badly enough to come to Brooklyn and buy us all burger-cheeses. John America - Monday, January 19, 2004 at 21:42:35 (EST) Holy shit, I just saw Jeevan in a Land Rover commercial. Dax <dax@mailserver.topleveldomain> Texas, TX TEXAS - Thursday, January 15, 2004 at 23:26:06 (EST) nothing works :( this quicktime thing sux!! i can't watch your videos <novideos@noland.com> America - Thursday, January 15, 2004 at 20:05:08 (EST) Happy Holidays everybody!!! Whachoo talkin' bout everybody!!! the gentlemen of the sam park revue <oval@ovalshow.com> Brooklyn, NY America - Wednesday, December 24, 2003 at 12:33:51 (EST) john, please shut down this site. sam park America - Tuesday, December 23, 2003 at 13:30:18 (EST) i like ur sitre xenical <akkw@hhh.com> chicago, il America - Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 02:46:21 (EST) i like ur site viagra <allen@infinity.com> qww, usa America - Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 02:44:47 (EST) i like ur site viagra <allen@infinity.com> ghh, hhj America - Thursday, December 11, 2003 at 02:37:10 (EST) Sorry, I am trying to install the same guestbook's script and it does not work. I am wondering how people did do it Yana <holodova@mail333.com> Tokio, JP Japan - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 20:28:19 (EST) I am really enjoying your site. I discovered it while doing a search on reiki. Thanks! Sveta <no email> Zazhopisk, pa Uzbekistan - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 20:28:17 (EST) Hello, I just wanted to say you have a very informative site which really made me think, Thanks ! Elena Prekrasnaya <Elena.Prekrasnaya@spam.net> Praga, NA Chechnya - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 20:27:51 (EST) Hi! You made a very funny site :) Pretty nice job Julia <Julia113@mail.ru> Urypinsk, MO Russia - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 20:27:42 (EST) May I ask you for changing links Rolex1113 <Rolex1113@hotmail.com> Mongomery, NB USA - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 20:26:28 (EST) what do you think? may we exchange the links? I have the same site in my native language. Please feel free to emaill me Natasha <kittykatnata%40mail.com> shanhay, ch china - Wednesday, December 10, 2003 at 00:04:33 (EST) Really nice site Sveta <Sveta> Zazhopisk, pa Uzbekistan - Monday, December 08, 2003 at 14:26:18 (EST) Hello from Viagra - African Style! Viagra <Viagra-@mails.com> LA, America - Saturday, December 06, 2003 at 16:07:15 (EST) Hello from Viagra - African Style! Viagra <Viagra-@mails.com> LA, America - Saturday, December 06, 2003 at 16:06:13 (EST) You may have been here before, but maybe not recently. I recommend "It's A Snowman," "I'm In The Fence," and "I Am Standing In The Sun." http://www.jsd.k12.ak.us/hbv/classrooms/Fontanella/fontanejkpbest.html John Brooklyn, America - Thursday, December 04, 2003 at 21:46:26 (EST) I think that the "high enterpreneur" that NoniJuice refers to in appreciation is clearly none other than MR. MATTHEW JAMES MERRILL... Sam Park America - Thursday, November 27, 2003 at 12:50:37 (EST) Hi everybody. I just surfed on IN and found your really awesome site. It helped me and I appreciate your high enterpreneur. Take care. Wish you a future success. Noni Juice <powerkoli@yahoo.de> Germany - Thursday, November 27, 2003 at 05:59:18 (EST) Hi, just wanted to thank you guys for getting such an informative site. Excellent graphic design and easy to navigate. Your site is indeed wonderful and i bookmarked it. I have found some of the information here helpful. There are too little good sites. Your site is very good. Thank you for the opportunity to sign your guest book. I will recommend it and come back. Noni <noni-chance@freenet.de> Germany - Thursday, November 27, 2003 at 05:58:42 (EST) I found this site by accident, but I'm glad I did. I have been using the Internet for several years and so many sites are confusing, but not yours. Thanks for the chance to sign your guestbook. It's nice to see how many people stopped by and posted a message Noni <megakol@hotmail.com> Germany - Thursday, November 27, 2003 at 05:57:56 (EST) I have always looked for a possibility to find information as quick as I can. Now there is the internet. And I really appreciate people like you who take their chance in such an excellent way to give an impression on certain topics. Thanks for having me here. Noni <kolfit@hotmail.com> Germany - Thursday, November 27, 2003 at 05:56:51 (EST) Hello! I am an important dead industrialist, and I have something to say. Shaudy, please become more engaged with current web technologies. Your lack of knowledge embarrasses all. I am a dead person, and still know to download the newest version of Apple's quicktime. And I don't blame John at all for making this web-content more user friendly. Beth, please know that we are very proud of you graduating from your College. And that you have chosen a path of making out and not making out with women. It is important to have a position on this issue, almost as important as having found Love in your life and a PhD. Good. Andy, please do not engage in velocity profiling, e.g., pulling people over simply because they happen to be driving fast. Now that the goodly Sam Park has shepherded his flock through the difficult period of college (after which, life only gets worse), I am rescinding the funding of this site and it will be shut down. Yours, RJ Reynolds RJ Reynolds Pittsburgh, PA USA - Monday, November 24, 2003 at 13:00:37 (EST) Great Info! All the Best - Levitra - LA. Levitra <Levitra-2003@aol.com> LA, America - Sunday, November 23, 2003 at 22:24:11 (EST) Shaudy! How are you? You need to download quicktime6 at http://www.apple.com/quicktime to view our videos. I am sorry we are so terrible. Mostly I blame Ritik. John Brooklyn, NY America - Sunday, November 23, 2003 at 01:47:48 (EST) Congratulations Beth! Are you really getting married? And moving back to Australia? We thought you went lesbian on us. Whatever you want to do with you life, that's cool. You know that, right? Don't let Rorty get you down. And what's going on with Andy? Is that who you're marrying? Is he a policeman? John Brooklyn, NY America - Sunday, November 23, 2003 at 01:46:14 (EST) Great Site! All the Best from Cialis - LA.Cialis Cialis <Cialis@email.com> LA, America - Wednesday, November 19, 2003 at 03:40:03 (EST) Great Work! All the Best Levitra - LA. Levitra <Levitra-2003@aol.com> LA, America - Monday, November 17, 2003 at 20:44:17 (EST) Great Work! All the Best Levitra - LA. Levitra <Levitra-2003@aol.com> LA, America - Monday, November 17, 2003 at 20:43:12 (EST) thanks dvd <dvd@msn.com> boston, boston America - Monday, November 17, 2003 at 00:59:59 (EST) I love your site and found it interesting. Buy my products. Evil Fucking Capitalism America - Friday, November 14, 2003 at 10:26:23 (EST) I graduate in about 6 weeks, and I realized that I've been watching your site since friggin' freshman year... for over 3 years! Do I get some sorta consolation prize 'er something? As for after school.. I'm going back to Aussie to get married and do my pHd... what are all of you up to? Beth Noho, America - Tuesday, November 11, 2003 at 02:01:51 (EST) Hello. I just wanted to give a quick greeting and tell you I enjoyed reading your material. Levitra America - Sunday, November 02, 2003 at 16:14:24 (EST) Holy crap i havent left a remark since february. The world is no longer an oyster Andy <azazelmusic@cs.com> America - Friday, October 31, 2003 at 18:56:59 (EST) yo homies, some of you may or may not remember from the days in the PA. i hope you are well and wanted to see "memories" (is that the piece my girl kate sigismund was in?). i couldn't view it. is that your problem or mine? anyway. much love. shaudy shaudy <shaudy@chicago.edu> chicago, IL America - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 at 23:48:22 (EDT) Turtles in costumes? www.turtletvnetwork.com Radiochild <eatdrinkbemerry@iamwasted.com> Dallas, TX America - Tuesday, October 21, 2003 at 18:07:49 (EDT) Spoony America - Monday, September 29, 2003 at 00:33:31 (EDT) Are you in charge of this madhouse? I love the videos. Who knew such evil could come from frozen dairy products? Al Qaeda will undoubtedly move into Dairy Queen franchising. Chris- email me, we need to catch up since Lincoln High (AKA Snoop Dogg U.) Nathan Crum <nathan.crum@vpps.net> Stockton, CA America - Friday, September 19, 2003 at 17:18:28 (EDT) what the fuck is Phentermine? is it expensive to begin with? WHAT DOES IT DO? will Phentermine or Cheap Phentermine please respond. john Brooklyn, NY America - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 11:15:51 (EDT) Great site. It was exactly what I was looking for. Cheap Phentermine America - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 09:53:53 (EDT) Great site. It was exactly what I was looking for. Phentermine America - Tuesday, September 16, 2003 at 09:53:35 (EDT) couple links for ur enjoyment: www.menwholooklikekennyrogers.com // www.mulletsgalore.com stupid <barf@toadpussy.com> stigma, WY America - Thursday, September 11, 2003 at 14:08:23 (EDT) yall do some funny shit! ever considered a ridiculously buxom side-kick though? just a thought, gotta get back to the roasters... wishineye waskenni <pat@heirloomcapital.com> Memphis, TN America - Thursday, September 11, 2003 at 14:03:52 (EDT) Other than my nutts bein halfway up my ass, I feel fine... Wyatt <Wyatt@johnhughes.com> America - Tuesday, September 02, 2003 at 14:42:44 (EDT) would someone please clean up all the garbage on this website? chris? sam park America - Friday, August 29, 2003 at 12:05:01 (EDT) Great website. I enjoyed it a lot. sexo oral gratis fotos de sexo oral sexo oral gratis fotos de sexo oral <elerotikon@yahoo.com> USA - Tuesday, August 19, 2003 at 18:21:32 (EDT) Catfish can't fly. Dogfish can't bark. But Beavers! Them's good eatin'. Poseidon Seattle, WA America - Sunday, August 17, 2003 at 14:51:07 (EDT) Thanks for coming to sissy S.F. and staying away from the big boys in L.A. You all may have been laughed right out. hahahaha. Go fuck yourselves! Rayko hi matty rayko <yoasted@ hotmail.com> Pasadena, CA America - Wednesday, August 13, 2003 at 23:51:09 (EDT) What's a gal gotta do to be funny with the Sam Park fellers? Like fawning celebrities before me (ZsaZsa and Yoko come to mind), I love you! I love you all! Mrs. Sam Park? <djkillmer@killmer.net> New Brooklyn, NY America - Wednesday, July 23, 2003 at 20:23:38 (EDT) Why are you all in europe. Shouldn't you all be in America? Henry Fleenting America - Monday, June 30, 2003 at 10:24:04 (EDT) Hey fellas, Me and Boner are thinking of planning a reunion episode and were wondering if we could entice you to participate. As an added incentive, the two lovely gals from "Sister Sister" will be there. Have your people get in touch with my people. Kirk Cameron America - Tuesday, June 24, 2003 at 20:18:45 (EDT) Hemaphrodite love causes blisters mjua <christ@themanger.com> brooklyn, NY America - Sunday, June 22, 2003 at 15:02:47 (EDT) You guys are just not right. But I'm still oddly impressed and drawn to your secondary way of thinking. You've given inspiration to a stalled intrest in documentary film. pulling for grant $$ can't be easy , with competition of this magnitude. suggestions would be welcome for a novice such as I. How to start, who to ask for help, that's the question I hope to answer. Peter <peter@townvalue.com> Norwood, MA USA - Sunday, June 15, 2003 at 00:31:50 (EDT) You guys planning to update to website any time soon? Chuck <Steve@stanford.edu> Stanford, CA America - Saturday, June 07, 2003 at 04:01:06 (EDT) now i am going to find and royally mess up diseno grafico barcelona and buscadores and hansi sam park America - Friday, May 30, 2003 at 12:29:18 (EDT) it is a small package. it contains most of western europe. decimated and devastated. these people knew what hit them. sam park America - Friday, May 30, 2003 at 12:28:21 (EDT) happy days hansi America - Tuesday, May 27, 2003 at 14:36:12 (EDT) I think you guys should do a college tour of the northeast this fall. I'd make sure smith hired you... and the few straight girls would jump you in an instant. Just an idea. I'm back in Aussie for the summer doing research...little does Smith know it gave me a 2500$ stipend so I can see my aussie boy again. HAHAHAHA... somedays, I feel so evil. Yeah, this is where I tell you guys how much i STILL love you, and to keep up the great and hilarious work. Beth <emcsween@smith.edu> Australia - Monday, May 26, 2003 at 22:56:32 (EDT) fantastic, with the aid of a high speed connection here i have now viewed many videos, many of which were recommended by the site itself. i was very pleased, as was my brother. thank you, for all you do. hope to be in NYC soon, where i would love to see the actual shooting locations and production facilities, which i assume are much like the sublet y'all were renting. alan kaiser <alanspam13@yahoo.com> boston, ma America - Saturday, May 24, 2003 at 01:12:03 (EDT) john - expect belgium, luxembourg, and the strausburg in a tidy giftbag. you get the rest of france if you can defeat edward ii in battle hapsburg hugh America - Sunday, May 18, 2003 at 10:20:23 (EDT) i didn't get to the rest of the site, but the postings are really cool. fyi: for anyone who doesn't know, the remarkably interesting-looking man on the upper right corner of the page is Richard Rorty. i know these things, cuz i'm part of the in crowd. he will haunt you. one day when i get a vcr hooked up to my computer, i'll check out the site's videos. i'm only kidding. you inspired me to joke. for the oval crew: i emailed jeevan 'bout a sublet, but he didn't have any space so he gave me a further email to check out, and here's the kicker: the part of the email after the "@" said "ovalshow.com", so i checked it out (the postings are nice). you might want to consider this as a marketing strategy, cuz people are kinda net-savvy now. you could sublet each of your apartments. gotta run ttyl alan kaiser <alanspam13@yahoo.com> palo alto, ca America - Tuesday, May 13, 2003 at 15:16:04 (EDT) I woke up next to my girlfriend this morning and she was humming a song that I later realized was, "I was assassinated, too." I'm a little freaked. Jeff E. <jeff@ericksonweb.org> San Francisco, CA America - Friday, May 09, 2003 at 01:51:16 (EDT) Dear Jeevaneenean, as a plush USA - Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 13:42:45 (EDT) Holland has fallen. mr. bad deeds Europa - Tuesday, May 06, 2003 at 12:22:41 (EDT) John just phoned tosay that everyone loved the sam park fantastic five after the show. I loved you first. And i never saw a show. Robin America - Wednesday, April 30, 2003 at 12:21:22 (EDT) Ritik, don't eat octopus in Spain. Bull tail is good though. This trip is gonna blow you away. Buen Viaje. All ya'll kicked ass in San Fran. Beau America - Tuesday, April 29, 2003 at 19:26:15 (EDT) Oh yeah, and thanks for showing How To Teach a Boy to Become a Man. That really meant a lot ot me. Chuck America - Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 20:56:25 (EDT) Hey, great show guys, I really enjoyed it! Come back soon. Chuck America - Sunday, April 27, 2003 at 20:55:51 (EDT) Hi Chris! Is it true? Are you coming back to Cali? ;-). Let me know; we'll come watch you. Love, Your favorite groupie Zenobia <zenobia@opsware.com> San Francisco, CA America - Wednesday, April 16, 2003 at 20:38:21 (EDT) Paul: you are my sunshine. Chris & Jeevan: you guys are really blowing this whole thing. Matty & Ritik: have sex. Robin: join in. NOT John <john@ovalshow.com> Brooklyn, NY America - Thursday, April 03, 2003 at 21:47:43 (EST) John Wayland is an asshole. But I love him. LIKE A FATHER. LIKE A FAT HER. I Hate you. Paul Kalanithi <pubby@asshole.net> America - Thursday, April 03, 2003 at 21:45:33 (EST) Hey I'm not a marketing robot and everything i write is sincere. You can click on my link. But that's not why I'm writing. I just wanted to let you know by feelings about the site. I feel good when i see this site. I feel really good. Sluts Secrets America - Wednesday, April 02, 2003 at 09:37:36 (EST) Just wanted to say hi and give my compliments. Great design. Great content. Cheap viagra America - Friday, March 28, 2003 at 21:21:09 (EST) I forgot how to spell Jeevan's name. Sorry Jeevan! Also say hi to Art. Bye Georgia Snell <kira-1@attbi.com> Nantucket, MA America - Sunday, March 16, 2003 at 17:16:27 (EST) Dear John and Sam Park people: You are a riot. You should be on tv. Or maybe the radio. Who are all these people? And where did you get all your ideas? It's scary to think you thought it all up yourselves! Tell Pete and Jeremy and Ritik and Cheevan and all hello. I HAVE to come to a show. Please let me know your schedule. Signed, Mom, aka Rev. Sort of. Georgia Ann Snell <kira-1@attbi.com> Nantucket, MA America - Sunday, March 16, 2003 at 17:13:56 (EST) Geeze, john, let's be a little more positive - i mean, an ex-pat returning... it is not martial law, yet. Let's see yours. jeremy <j@pochman.org> confusion, America - Saturday, March 08, 2003 at 17:34:06 (EST) Beth, let me be the first to welcome you back into our country. A lot of things have changed since you left the homeland for foreign soil, and you should be aware of the new ground rules. 1) No cussing in America. 2) Don't leave your briefcase unattended in America. 3) No couscous in America. 4) No blowing up buildings in America. 5) Let's keep our hair short. Now, show us your boomerang. John <john@ovalshow.com> America - Saturday, March 08, 2003 at 11:20:31 (EST) Nighthawks. Interesting. When will you be in Bosyon? I'd love to see a show. ~Back in the USA... Beth America - Friday, March 07, 2003 at 20:40:07 (EST) where is tcdurant? mr. deeds USA - Monday, March 03, 2003 at 16:43:57 (EST) Yo Long Live Sam Park.. its time well spent ! Amol <detroit_amol@yahoo.com> Pontiac, MI America - Monday, March 03, 2003 at 12:24:07 (EST) Mr. Rogers is dead. Goddamn your cynicism. San Fran? I can make that show. I'll be there man. Beau <boolecrew@hotmail.com> America - Friday, February 28, 2003 at 19:30:17 (EST) he's right you know. it should be spelled the way it sounds. let's petition! jarvis o'flaherty America - Friday, February 28, 2003 at 17:25:16 (EST) Marshmallow. That's bullshit if you ask me. It should be Marshmellow. I spell it like it damn well sounds. Fuck y'all. Fuck all y'all. Charles Stanford, CA America - Thursday, February 27, 2003 at 20:59:37 (EST) get off my back, man. you know i think chuckles is alright... jarvis o'flaherty America - Thursday, February 27, 2003 at 10:52:59 (EST) but not the REAL sam park. just the mean, fake sam park who posts on these boards. i'm looking in your direction, jarvis o'flaherty... ritik dholakia America - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 19:10:03 (EST) that sam park character. what an f-hole. sheesh! ritik dholakia <ritik@stanfordalumni.org> America - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 19:09:31 (EST) Sam Park stop being such a meanie! You big fat MEANIE! Jeevan <zoink@stanfordalumni.org> America - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 14:19:09 (EST) Charles, Your comments are astute; Marshmallows are indeed sad. Look at me; I'm a semi-colon! I'm being used improperly. Please, everyone come back. I'm not finished. John Wayland <john@ovalshow.com> Brooklyn, NY America - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 14:11:05 (EST) let it be known that anyone first named charles and not last named cary will be banned from all san francisco performances of the sam park revue for their gratuitous mispelling of words. sam park America - Wednesday, February 26, 2003 at 14:07:26 (EST) Nice work boys! I really like the new videos. Except the marshmellow one. That was just sad Charles Stanford, CA America - Monday, February 24, 2003 at 18:05:33 (EST) Trying to attain vast power and world domination again? Bad dog! Bad dog! -Dilbert Dilberts World <dilbertsworld@lycos.nl> USA - Wednesday, February 19, 2003 at 14:03:25 (EST) Show me. Show you. Kikkoman. Kikkoman. http://yoga.tripod.co.jp/flash/kikkomaso_e.swf That Guy America - Tuesday, February 18, 2003 at 23:59:59 (EST) EMERGENCY! After our last show, we misplaced the elephant that we rented for the F. Scott Fitzgerald skit... HAS ANYBODY SEEN FRUMPY? john wayland brooklyn - Friday, February 14, 2003 at 16:40:05 (EST) unnatural angles. my profession is mathematics. what is an unnatural angle? is it ZW degrees? that doesn't sound very natural. what about a circle? is that a natural angle? how about if its an angle with another man? i know certain conservatives don't consider that natural. but, hey, if its found on god's green earth, who am i to argue? i am just a simple mathematician. ZG degrees. matty merrill brooklyn - Friday, February 14, 2003 at 14:04:13 (EST) oh no! i broke an egg! oh wait, i broke it into a frying pan. thank god, it's frying now. oh no! i broke the toaster. shit. what? oh, it's supposed to do that? oh, the bread is toasted now? i see. very interesting. things are coming together after all. shoot, i just broke the butter. i should spread it on the toast? very interesting. jeevan kalanithi brooklyn - Friday, February 14, 2003 at 14:02:04 (EST) i'm going to break ritik's legs if he doesn't pay me back for that kilo i fronted him. chris cary brooklyn - Friday, February 14, 2003 at 14:00:17 (EST) Break a leg tomorrow and in the remainder of your shows. Break so many legs that closing night will not be a show so much as you guys piled in one large heap with your legs sticking out at unnatural angles. Seriously though, good luck with your shows. Knock 'em dead! Charles <hotChick99@aol.com> Stanford, CA America - Thursday, February 13, 2003 at 15:13:13 (EST) andy - please explain two things: 1. Dog Soldiers. what kind of movie is this? 2. Cop Exam. does this mean you are going to become a cop? wear will this happen, andy? and why? and how can we benefit from it? sam park - Thursday, February 06, 2003 at 16:58:29 (EST) "Whales don't tell lies" ??? is this some kind of sappy nostalgia on the part of one (or more) Sam Park ® members? I mean, c'mon, two people reunite from the same high school and look what happens ! And they cannot even talk to defend themselves. At least the (quote-unquote) Angry Gods could wreak some kind of focused catastrophe - like a resurgence of gelatinous slime - upon your heads to voice their displeasure. But these nice aquatic mammals are left with no recourse whatsoever and must endure your slander with only squeeks, pips and the occasional click to console themselves. I hope that you toss in your beds until you have made peace with yourselves and our blubberous cousins in the sea. Green Piece <flipper@whalesrbutiful.com> San Diego, of course Atlantis - Thursday, February 06, 2003 at 15:47:53 (EST) Hey have you guys seen DOG SOLDIERS? I thought that movie rocked... what'd you think? Andy America - Saturday, February 01, 2003 at 14:39:19 (EST) Hey I'm taking my Cop exam soon... then I'll bust all your asses.... in a strictly heterosexual manner of course... andy America - Saturday, February 01, 2003 at 14:35:59 (EST) Sam Park is Asian!? John Wayland <john@ovalshow.com> Brooklyn, NY America - Saturday, February 01, 2003 at 00:56:37 (EST) http://www.naatanet.org/community/archives/arch_filmmaker/sam_park.html Sam Park? America - Thursday, January 30, 2003 at 19:17:49 (EST) First comes Claw, then comes the Apple, then. What comes next? Marriage!!!??!!! Congratulations. Rayko rayko <yoasted@ hotmail.com> Altadena, CA America - Wednesday, January 29, 2003 at 01:41:57 (EST) CONGRATULATIONS to both MATTY MERRILL and MATT FLANNERY! Our two Matts are engaged and we're VERY proud of and HAPPY for them. I don't know much about women, but I think they have some good times ahead! Hold on to those horns tight boys and ride that bull to the finish line. Seriously. We love and admire your women and intend to subvert your children. BOO YAH! Sam Park <sampark@ovalshow.com> Koror, Palau - Tuesday, January 28, 2003 at 09:14:13 (EST) Churlington Westinghouse Parlourmen III houston, tx usa - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 18:28:22 (EST) What the fuck, Lisa? You just posted the same message twice. What kind of papers are you writing? History papers? Would you please email me the cliff notes and free essays that you wrote based on info from ovalshow.com. There's something you need to know about me. Love Sam Sam Park <sampark@ovalshow.com> Medan, Sumatra - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 18:16:15 (EST) Greetings from Huston, TX. My name is Lisa. Let me thank you for such an informative site. I used it to compose cliff notes and free essays for my class. Your site is indeed a wonderful source for all my future term papers and research papers. free essays - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:54:35 (EST) What the hell kind of class do you think Lisa is taking? Sam Park <sampark@ovalshow.com> Medan, Sumatra - Tuesday, January 21, 2003 at 11:02:16 (EST) Greetings from Huston, TX. My name is Lisa. Let me thank you for such an informative site. I used it to compose cliff notes and free essays for my class. Your site is indeed a wonderful source for all my future term papers and research papers. free essays - Monday, January 20, 2003 at 23:21:53 (EST) hot hot chicks! dictators! what a brilliant marketing and pr move! Chim Chim Chimeroo brooklyn, guanzhou CHINA - Friday, January 17, 2003 at 18:00:26 (EST) also, ps, Grundogger, around these parts, being a blustering bastard drunk is of the highest order... Pam Siznark brooklyn, ny - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:28:27 (EST) THE Garry Grundy??!! As in, THE phenomenal and pretentious DRUNK Garry Grundy??!! Who would often inspire us with his DAILY BLUSTER into growing up to be TOTAL FUCKING BASTARDS OURSELVES!!! WE HAVE FINALLY MADE IT. PLEASE ERASE ALL OTHER POSTS. I have only to say that Stanford University is significantly poorer and less interesting for the loss of three of its most eminent voices: Moroney, Grundy, and Park. What halcyon days those were... Sam Piznark brooklyn, ny - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 15:26:36 (EST) What: THE Garry Grundy? Daily columnist? Home of the Brave America - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 13:09:42 (EST) Unreal!! Fuckin' unreal! Congrats on finding such rewarding and enjoyable work. Cheers, -G Garry Grundy <egg@stanfordalumni.org> America - Wednesday, January 15, 2003 at 02:21:30 (EST) can u send me the list of music you use in ur movies..especially superlab mike <mhr003@hotmail.com> Charlotte, NC America - Monday, January 13, 2003 at 12:59:24 (EST) So, what's up with old people swimming all the time in commercials? Do any of you know any old people who swim? I've been throwing old people in the river for weeks now, and most of them drown. Paul Kalanithi ENGLAND - Saturday, January 11, 2003 at 04:49:08 (EST) "Kill the beast! Cut his throat! Spill his blood!" the ritualistic chant went up. Amidst the gusts and thunderclaps of a storm, their bloodlust grew. Sam Park vows to Rise Again America - Friday, January 10, 2003 at 13:38:44 (EST) Happy hollidays to all of you! I hope/trust that you are in the best of spirits. Send us an update on what you are doing these days, we miss you dearly. Charles! Stanford, CA America - Tuesday, January 07, 2003 at 14:24:42 (EST) utterly, mind-bogglingly, fascinating stuff! corina <corinakelp@yahoo.com> America - Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 10:54:05 (EST) utterly, mind-bogglingly, fascinating! Jane USA - Saturday, January 04, 2003 at 10:50:58 (EST) Hey. I'm typing this to you under cover of night. I've been taken hostage by clergymen and managed to sneak to their private quarters to send out this S.O.S. Indeed I have been stuck here for a week now. I had plans of an escape yesterday but alas my good friend Alberto Longbottoms sucumbed to T.B. I am alone now... I feel that the end may soon be near. Goodbye friends....I shall try once more to make it out of this horrible nightmare...God bless you all. Goodbye... P.s. Can someone send me a Care package with those cool sherbet Creamsicles? Thanks. Peace! Shhh....Rhymes with Candy America - Wednesday, January 01, 2003 at 16:47:50 (EST) I like the recommended videos feature. How about sections for videos that are: not recommeded, embarassing, incriminating, really dumb, gramatically incorrect. by the way, the oval is big in Latin America eli America, not North - Monday, December 30, 2002 at 16:15:46 (EST) That's "gosh-darned" website, Ritik. "Gosh-darned". Just looking out for the welfare of your soul. -- The God police God Police Heaven, Euphoria America, of course - Tuesday, December 24, 2002 at 13:45:22 (EST) happy holidays and have a wonderful new year's to anybody who still looks at this goddamned website. we love you. Ritik Dholakia brooklyn, ny usa - Monday, December 23, 2002 at 16:25:30 (EST) yah! that's some hard to read, pual. like messy handwriting. on a computer. boo! rasta jah rafari ocean drive, brooklyn defend brooklyn - Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 18:22:29 (EST) O vaine worlds glorie, and vnstedfast state Of all that liues, on face of sinfull earth, Which from their first vntill their vtmost date Tast no one hower of happines or merth, But like as at the ingate of their berth, They crying creep out of their mothers woomb, So wailing backe go to their wofull toomb. 50 Why then dooth flesh, a bubble glas of breath, Hunt after honour and aduauncement vaine, And reare a trophee for deuouring death, With so great labour and long lasting paine, As if his daies for euer should remaine? Sith all that in this world is great or gaie, Doth as a vapour vanish, and decaie. Witik Bwookwyn, America - Thursday, December 19, 2002 at 09:58:50 (EST) gentlemen, another wonderful performance. you are truly superlative specimens. unfortunately, the thundering empire of non-caring continues marching forward... Bollocks Bill America - Monday, December 16, 2002 at 12:37:09 (EST) What? Chuck America - Wednesday, December 04, 2002 at 13:36:48 (EST) Chuck, Why the animosity? What have I done to you. I gave one opinion like a year ago or a clip that really did sorta suck, and now you hate me. Jesus, I remember when I was the only one who'd talk to you...IMing and coming up with skit ideas. Whatever. You can shove yourself up your own ass. PS..I have not seen any new skits cause I have a 28.8 dialup, so when I get back to Smith, I'll be sure to watch them all then and let you know what I think. Until then, I am fionding a new comedy site to frequent. Beth <upyours@whatthefuck.com> Australia - Tuesday, December 03, 2002 at 18:59:02 (EST) Mustache men. Awesome. Homeland security. Awesomer. Chuck America - Monday, December 02, 2002 at 02:19:31 (EST) when it comes to groups I hate or do not hate I have one protocol. would cowboys shoot em up? commies: yes. chicks: no. sports mascots: yes. hippies: yes. of course hippies. hippies are the new native americans. Harumph Ontario, America - Wednesday, November 27, 2002 at 17:18:07 (EST) Hello fellows. If anyone cares about those of us on the westcoast, please direct your web browser to: http://www.stanford.edu/~chzmataz/films/ESP.mov McSweeny, do you hate it? I hope so. Chuck Stanford, CA America - Monday, November 25, 2002 at 07:23:05 (EST) Hey, hacky-sack sounds cool. But wait til I am finished playing my guitar or didjiredoo. I will drive over to your house 4 blocks away in my SUV with "phish" stickers on it. We can burn incense as we eat our vegan meals and bake bread. It will be bitchin'. Hippie McHipster Stanford, CA America - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 19:43:49 (EST) Anyone want to play some hacky-sack? Maybe toss a little frisbee around later? I was thinking about not grooming myself as well. Just curious. Also, eating meat is as bad as murder. Dr. Columbae Stanford, CA America - Thursday, November 21, 2002 at 00:03:59 (EST) John's opinions on drugs are not shared by the group or America in general. John is scared of losing control. However, John's opinions on hippies are shared by the group and America in general. Just another count on which John is correct. And Australia is not. Sam Park America - Wednesday, November 20, 2002 at 10:18:48 (EST) "Do you come from a land down under? Where women glow and men plunder? "I come from a land down under Where beer does flow and men chunder Can't you hear, can't you hear the thunder? You better run, you better take cover." PS don't ask me what the hell chunder is...I haven't been here long enough to find an aussie who has actually used that word. Beth America - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 23:51:13 (EST) OUCH!!! From the people whom bring some of the most bizarre and assumedly drug-induced humor, I recieve scorn and... um... scorn. HUMPH. I cannot believe the utter disdain you hold for hippies, whom hurt no one. This is not to say that I am a hippy, but they are really nice peole and let you chill with them and share thier cutlery with you at hostels, and they are always fun. Rant behind, I would like to anounce my return from the land of Oz on December 7th. ***music commensing : Beth <iluvauusieboys@hippiesrule.com> Brisbane, QLD Australia - Tuesday, November 19, 2002 at 23:45:50 (EST) I know this sort of thing is uncommon on a message board like this, but I had a real question. Well, two questions really. (though it will be obvious that the second question is somewhat of a humorous ribe with Mr. Kalanithi) The first: What is the flying duck in reference to in the Helvig piece. It's from an Ibsen play isn't it? I feel like perhaps I would find it funnier if I knew what it was in reference to. The second: Jeevan, what's Becky Chaplin's number? That is all. Chuck Stanford, CA America - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 22:40:44 (EST) Andy! My main man! Where the hell have you been! Ritik Dholakia America - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 13:36:55 (EST) In your opinion, Beth, what is it exactly that these hippies "rule?" I don't think they rule America, or China, or even Outer Space. Perhaps it is the Land of being Dirty and Lazy and Generally Uncultured. No. The hippies are bad people and John is a good person solely by virtue of being opposed to hippies. They steal babies, for the sake of Jesus Christ. Ritik Dholakia America - Monday, November 18, 2002 at 13:36:20 (EST) hey whats going on oval? I have returned to ease your suffering. Let the worship commence. ANDY'S BACK America - Saturday, November 16, 2002 at 00:34:15 (EST) Happy Birthday to everyone! Beth, drugs are wrong. John Brooklyn, America - Thursday, November 14, 2002 at 09:48:53 (EST) I love hippies. They rule, and they almost always have pot. In aussie, there is a hippie town called Nimbin, in which you can score before you even step out of your car. It's a beautiful thing. Steve may have booze, but I got the wacky-tabacky to ease my days. God bless Australia and its ever-so lenient drug laws! P.S. I do other stuff too. Like study and drink. Beth Australia - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 21:55:12 (EST) Why does John hate hippies so? Earthmother America - Wednesday, November 13, 2002 at 18:06:17 (EST) happy birthday, chuck. to you, too, steve. ritik brooklyn, ny usa - Tuesday, November 12, 2002 at 12:17:26 (EST) welcome to the fucking oval, charles. paul kalanithi America - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 19:15:43 (EST) Now that Steve and I are both of legal drinking age, our lives have turned from optimistic searches for purpose and meaningful relationships in some way justifying our existence, to sitting in poorly lit study rooms in Flo Mo and drinking cheap scotch. The other day, a young Stanford freshman lady asked me: "Chuck", she said "what are you doing after you graduate". I shed a single tear which slowly rolled down my chin and dropped in to the short and wide highball type glass of which I cannot remember the proper name but which contained my sixth scotch of the evening. I than muttered "this drink is my blood, sweat, and tears. When I drink of it, I remember the man I thought I wanted to be before my 21st birthday." The freshman girl offered herself to me, as she apparantly found out that I was in a fraternity, and in a fraternity, drinking and sex go hand in hand. But neither the flesh nor the mind was willing. And so I cried my scotch tears in to another glass which I handed to her. And we both sat for a very long time, thinking about the days in which life was full of promise and hapiness and alcohol free. Happy Birthday to me! Chuck Stanford, CA America - Monday, November 11, 2002 at 18:41:59 (EST) when did you all become such dirty bastards? ritik usa - Wednesday, November 06, 2002 at 17:50:31 (EST) If a maven is a person with lots of information, is a crotch maven one who has lots of information about crotches? Peeku, are you a crotch maven? Tell us -- what different kind of crotches are there, and can you do a skit about them? Foxy Lady America - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 22:29:28 (EST) Boys.... the cockles of my and jill's collective hearts are burning from the warmth of knowing that you are playing at UCB. I only wish I lived in New York. I feel like a proud mother. Except that none of you came from my womb and it would be totally gross if I was any of your mothers. Except Jeevan. That would not be gross at all. christine the sannest of franciscos, ca America - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 20:02:26 (EST) crotch maven. discuss. peeku bub-buh-buh-brooklyn, new york state - Monday, November 04, 2002 at 16:25:49 (EST) There really is something to be said for not doing anything at Halloween except get very drunk. You see, it's a way of acknowledging that drinking is your entire life, and nothing will change it, not even the fun of dressing up every year in a fantastic costume. Dax Bamberger America - Friday, November 01, 2002 at 09:51:12 (EST) In your dreams you are. Foxy Lady Foxy Lady America - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 16:48:20 (EST) I have a confession to make: I am Foxy Lady Chuck America - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 16:38:16 (EST) Why is it so hard for you boys to believe that you have a fan that is 1) not one of you and 2) not related to one of you. Not Ritik's Mom, F.L. P.S. Good luck on your show Nov. 2nd. Foxy Lady America - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 12:45:03 (EST) My two cents: Mom, would you please stop posting on the message board, please. - Ritik Ritik Dholakia <ritik@ovalshow.com> Brooklyn, NY USA - Thursday, October 31, 2002 at 11:04:16 (EST) Oh Beth, Beth, Beth! I am not trying to steal your thunder. Boys, how have you managed to twist this entire thing and turn it into a catfight? All I wanted was more shirtless Ritik, and look what's happened now. It's all your fault, Ritik. What have you got to say for yourself? foxy lady America - Wednesday, October 30, 2002 at 00:08:32 (EST) I feel so obsolete. My only job was to bolster your self-esteems, but alas, Miss Foxy hath replaced me. P.S. Memories is the best skit eer. Period. Beth Australia - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 19:49:41 (EST) Kiss Me is anything but PG-13. But, ratings of another sort...my favorites so far are Superlabfantastique, Arrest, Fashion, Basketball, and Jobfair. Why don't you do a sequel to Jobfair and see where those folks are now? foxy lady America - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 10:03:17 (EST) Miss Foxy Lady, why don't YOU rate our skits? Post your ratings up here on the board and we'll have an open forum discussion about which skits are fantastic and which skits are just terrible. If you would do that Foxy Lady, maybe Chuck and Steve would come and talk to us more. Then we'd all be a little happier. And KNOW a little more! Mr. Samuel Park <sampark@ovalshow.com> New York, NY America - Tuesday, October 29, 2002 at 00:48:14 (EST) so do you guys rate your skits or what? i just saw Kiss Me and um, what happened once you finished shooting? foxy lady America - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 21:30:43 (EST) Ancient Egyptians would have been better if Ritik had been wearing a shirt or wasn't such a fucking asshole all summer. Chuck <steve@yelderman.com> America - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 21:10:07 (EST) take the cereal commercial for example. it would have been so much more effective had ritik been shirtless. you guys just aren't doing it right. foxy lady foxy lady <foxylady33@aol.com> America - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 20:57:18 (EST) inside sources say ritik will bear at least his shirt in the November live shows. Ever seen it ripple in person? harumph <discobingo@yahoo.com> indominable, America - Monday, October 28, 2002 at 16:13:23 (EST) I fully support more shirtless indians. Can you guys do more videos mudwrestling? But I want to see a tag teaming -- like Matt and Chris vs Jeevan and Ritik with John refereeing. Please? a fan <fanoftheovalshow@here.com> Hopeful, USA - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 18:01:38 (EDT) what if i promise to donate lots of money to the oval show? then would you consider more skits with the shirtless ritik? oh wait--that would be sort of like prostituting ritik, huh? something to consider in these tough economic times.... foxy lady foxylady <foxylady@aol.com> America - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 15:15:04 (EDT) sorry, art, this idea has been totally voted down numerous times. 4 to 1 by the Board of Trustees of the Sam Park Revue. that little feller is no way going to be dressing down again. not now not never. sorry. Ritik Dholakia <ritik@ovalshow.com> Manhattan, NY USA - Thursday, October 24, 2002 at 13:57:58 (EDT) how about some more skits featuring ritik without a shirt? pablo and apeman were great! give us more! give us more! foxy lady <foxylady33@aol.com> tucson, az America - Wednesday, October 23, 2002 at 23:33:05 (EDT) Richard, Clearly you simply do not remember the glory years of the late 90s. This was a direct quote from one of Jeevan's inebriated friends, referring to freshman. I believe the quote was "hey freshy fuckers! Fucky fuck fucks. Fuckin freshman fuckos" And the freshmen in question ended up being juniors or something. It loses its power when you write it down. RR, have Jeevo do a dramatic re-enactment. He is good at that. He and Ritik also do an excellent Cagney and Lacey impression. When I was in school, we had a morality class where we watched episodes of Cagney and Lacey. What do you think of that, Richie? who do you think? <yourfavorite@sf.com> sf, ca America - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 19:28:32 (EDT) Jesus Christ! Did I lend my likeness to a site that would be filled up with filth and smut! I think not! I think not so specifically that I outlined in the contract JJ and I drew up over brewskis at the CoHo. Yes, the CoHo. You can never escape your abbreviated past, you little prep school bastards. Now, John Wesley, hop to it and edit that last pope so anwhere the "F-word" was used, you replace it with a much less offensive word like happy, so as not to offend our cousins. The post should read as follows: Let's talk about babies....Who is this Roy character? I could have SWORN that Ritik emailed this same essay to me last month. And then I fired him. You all are big happy liars. But I like the way that I can write happy all the time on this site. Do you think if we type it a lot that when perverts search google for porn that they will get the ovalshow site? Who knows? Happy happy happy. Happy happy. ps your new pictures make you all look hot. Amazing how the internet can fool you... Happy happy happy Richard Rorty <rorty@stanford.edu> Palo Alto, CA USA - Tuesday, October 22, 2002 at 12:14:24 (EDT) Let's talk about babies....Who is this Roy character? I could have SWORN that Ritik emailed this same essay to me last month. And then I fired him. You all are big fucking liars. But I like the way that I can write fuck all the time on this site. Do you think if we type it a lot that when perverts search google for porn that they will get the ovalshow site? Who knows? fuck fuck fuck. Fucking fuckers. ps your new pictures make you all look hot. Amazing how the internet can fool you... Fucky fuck fuck <fuckityfuck@fuckfuck.com> yourbackyard, CA America - Monday, October 21, 2002 at 14:16:11 (EDT) Beth, Andy - we're sorry. we didn't mean anything by the disclaimer below. why don't you guys chat. you could talk about my new book: "Subjectivism, Relativism, and Hedonism" Richard Rorty <rorty@stanford.edu> palo alto, CA America - Sunday, October 20, 2002 at 18:07:50 (EDT) The new site looks very pretty and very nice. John did a good job. Yes, he did. Good job. December 13th is my birthday. ChrisT. Chris Tate <noneof@yourdarnbusiness.bitch> New Canaan, CT America - Sunday, October 13, 2002 at 18:37:47 (EDT) DAX Are you happy now that your picture is back up on the site? Are you satisfied? Will you stop your whining? Pretty boy. John Wayland <john@ovalshow.com> Brooklyn, NY America - Friday, October 11, 2002 at 20:47:14 (EDT) i was sitting by the river the other day and the most peculiar thing happened. A wooden boat floated by--not a large one. A small one. Half the size of a normal boat. And in this boat was not a man, but a small ape. Wearing a straw hat and strumming a ukelele. Tuberculosis Bob USA - Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 23:51:24 (EDT) This site is a little bit better than the old site, though I'm pretty pissed off that my picture's not here anymore. Fuckers. Dax Bamberger <dax@highwire.stanford.edu> Menlo Park, CA America - Thursday, October 10, 2002 at 18:46:31 (EDT) So, First, Apologies to Beth about our not having purchased you a faster internet connection. Check under your tree come Christmas time. Second, to Beth, Andy, Chuck, Ivy, now David, others who check the site regularly (i.e., more than once in your lifetime): do you have suggestions regarding things we might add to the site? any suggestions that aren't naked pictures of Art Schram? would you buy a DVD of our videos if we put one together (if it were less than $15?) Or, if we made these DVDs, would it be entirely Ritik buying them to give to his family (how many copies of the SPR videos can the Dholakias rightfully own without coming under the scrutiny of the Sherman Antitrust hawks at Justice?) Have you checked out all of these fucking crazy links to websites that crazy people put up in the links section? Do you think that we are crazy and cantankerous old coots yet? Who are you, anyway? JWW, what happened to the McSweeney page? That was cute... Sam Park <oval@ovalshow.com> brooklyn, ny usa - Tuesday, October 08, 2002 at 17:52:13 (EDT) I filled out everything in the information just to prove that they aren't entirely useless and that some people actually take the time to type it in. Ivy Phan <i_heart_weezer@hotmail.com> El Cerrito, CA America - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 20:25:00 (EDT) Laughing my ass off and sharing with friends who are also laughing they're ass's off. We have a floor full of ass's over here. David Concannon <monkeyking@mail.com> Orange, CA America - Monday, October 07, 2002 at 19:12:50 (EDT) I don't know how I fell about this. I am disorientated, and I can't get the videos to play b/c we have a 28.8 modem, because we are poor at my house. I like the new pictures, though. beth <emcsween@smith.edu> Australia - Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 10:22:38 (EDT) Let there be pie In the sky When I die In the sky Let there be pie There's nothing shameful in my cry! If not for pie What purpose in the sky? On earth A dearth Whate'er his worth That he will die Man knows from birth Let there be pie Why else a sky? D.J. E. England - Sunday, October 06, 2002 at 00:15:12 (EDT) Everyone is lauding "JW", what about this Sam guy? your computer America - Friday, October 04, 2002 at 01:41:03 (EDT) Well done JW, well done indeed. Phil Forue <lost@mycar.com> somewhere, ny America - Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 16:17:27 (EDT) better than a 66 yard punt that pins your foe at the 2 yard line! Tom Tupa <punter@azcardinals.com> phoenix, az America - Wednesday, October 02, 2002 at 00:31:27 (EDT) Excellent work John! Excellent! It's like you've turned my web browser in to some sort of Macintosh computer! (really though, good job. And this actually is Chuck.) Charles <chuckles@mlb.com> Stanford, CA America - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 22:24:23 (EDT) Great things are on the horizon. I can SEE them. Mr. Magoo America - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 16:51:40 (EDT) Ooooooo what a pretty new website. I love it . I love all of you guys. I love you John. ooo <ooo@aol.com> Brooklyn, America - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 13:29:07 (EDT) So here it is - A new start. Questions, comments & concerns are welcome. Sam Park <oval@ovalshow.com> Brooklyn, NY America - Tuesday, October 01, 2002 at 00:49:16 (EDT)