Why I Hate Robert Moses
by Student

Robert Moses appears to be a person made up for the amusement of those who worship The Oval. This may seem likely since he died before I was born. Regardless of his reality, he looks to be the kind of person who would have his daughter's new boyfriend over for a cigar, making sadly lame remarks about how quickly his "little girl" has grown up. To the dismay of many of my fellow adolescents, this type of parent would be worse than having to spend eternity listening to 80's "big hair" music. Most of the boyfriends Mr. Moses shared a smoke with would have no one to go to Make-Out Hill with the following evening.

If he were my father, I would live my life in hiding, sneaking out with older men while he said "Sweet dreams, sweetheart" to a pile of pillows in my bed. Or perhaps I would add rat poison to his J.D. one night, so as to end all problems with personal embarrassment.

However, Robert Moses is not my father and I could care less about how dog food is produced than who some old ugly guy is. This "John" person needs to come up with more relevant, useful things to have us write about, such as why the comma splice isn't just a part of normal grammar. Or why 'probably' is one of the most frequently misspelled words in the English language. Or, for those of us who deal with kids: why do kids act out when we tell them not to do things, and don't do the things we allow them to do? This would be a much better use of HTML tags and crappy images than the current mantra of "Who is this person and why do the suck?"